What is The Sims?

If you've never played The Sims, you probably have a 14 year-old niece or a 65 year-old grandmother or a sad little coworker who has. So you've wondered, what is this game and why are these people so addicted?

The Sims is, basically, a digital doll house. It's an environment with characters you've created and others you haven't--interacting, working, picking up strangers in bars, marrying and having kids. Like the game Town that Harriet plays in "Harriet the Spy" you can create your own drama. The Sims lets you be an architect, an interior designer, a fashion designer, or just shop like one.

So how does it work?

The essential play of the game is keeping your sim happy. Every sim has needs that must be attended to: food, social, energy, bathroom, hygiene, fun and comfort. So at the simplest level, you're making sure your sim is fed, bathed, makes it to the bathroom and has fun and sleep. Or not. Let your sims walk around in absolulte filth and squalor, begging for showers, peeing on the floor then passing out wherever they drop. That's fun too.

When you start the game, you can either make a new sim or play with an existing one. If you're brand new at this, you might want to play with an existing sim for a bit so you won't become too emotionally attached to a sim you're bound to set on fire. Eventually the idea of making sims of all of your ex-lovers and either setting them on fire or making it work out this time will occur to you, so this is how it's done:


To create a sim, click on the little people circle at the top of the menu.

 


Your sim behaves to a certain degree based on the personality attributes you give her. Moochacha, a Libra like myself, is an outgoing, madcap girl with a heart of gold who also is a slob that never leaves the couch. Hey, you can't have everything.

 
I look exactly like this.


Since you start out with $20,000, this is the shitty little apartment you can expect to have. Notice I have the phone in the bathroom so the phone won't wake me in the middle of the night. These are the bare essentials. I could have picked out cheaper things but I do have to look at this and there is a limit to how much ugliness I can absorb in one sitting.

As you can see by my "Needs", Moo is a little bored and kinda has to pee but she can wait.

Also notice I'm having Moo study cooking the second she gets in the door. Once you have 3 cooking points you won't burn the house down when you cook.

So let's get started:


Before I even get to page 2 of my cookbook, these two losers show up to welcome me to the neighborhood. While they wait for me they decide to have a hellacious argument on my front yard about their kid.

 


Once they're inside, their shitty mood contines. I slave over a hot stove for these two and all they want to do is complain about the airline industry.

 


I make the rookie mistake of trying to cuddle on the sofa with someone I just met. Typically, she shoves me away and shudders at my gauche behavior.

 


I kick the bitch out.

 


After reading the want ads, I accept the only job they have in this crummy town.

 


Besides their unemployment problems, this town has wild animals running loose as well. But, I do look cute in my uniform.

 


I decide to paint for awhile.

 


Then go to bed.

So there we have a typical day. Come back to see the further adventures of Moochacha NYC.

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