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| As soon as I get home I call the police. |
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They're on their way. |
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| The cop shows up an hour later when I'm in the middle of something. "Just a second, jeez." |
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| He tells me I pretty much asked to be robbed since I spend my free time by the swingsets talking to teenage girls and men in business suits. |
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He gives me a thousand dollars and tells me to be more careful next time. |
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| I decide to take a home correspondence course in karate so that I can learn self-defense. Luckily I'm already a black belt. |
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| 7... 8... 9... well, that's good for today. I don't want to get all sweaty in my new clothes. |
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I find an online chat group for Lesbians who Are Pathetic. I login 12 times a day and my screename is CALLME! What a bunch of losers. |
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| I check my Simmetry messages. |
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Is that a pimple? |
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| Talk about your losers... |
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