So Honey calls me up and asks if she can come over.

She's all upset, so I run out to the street and give her a kiss.

She tells me Sheila is a great big crazy bitch and she's going to kick Honey out if she keeps seeing me.

So naturally I say she can stay with me.

In fact, this is the perfect opportunity to ask her to marry me when she's distraught and clearly has no other options. It's full of romance.

(Before you ask anyone to marry you make sure they are in love with you, fed, entertained, talked to, and allowed to sit down and go to the bathroom. So start early. If they come over in a foul mood, don't even bother trying to fix it and try again the next day.)

Honey takes one look at my cheap ring and says yes!

For the fun of it, we put on formal wedding dresses while our dinner rots. I tell her I paid $1,000 for the ring because I'm crass like that.

(I got a gay marriage patch from somewhere and I have no idea where, but c&c has one. This isn't the one I have so I can't vouch for it, but it should do the same thing. Basically, it means you can propose marraige to the same sex as opposed to just "move in". Then they spin into their formal clothes just like straight people.)

So we're married now.

Two may live as cheaply as one, but I need to do some construction around the house. I decide to take a loan. Is my dog peeing in every single picture?!

(If Honey were single, she would have moved in with $20,000, but since she was with Sheila, she came in with nothing. I got this computer from cheapfrills which is a fantastic site if you haven't been there. This computer let's you borrow money and trusts your financial responsibility to pay it back. Moo, like myself, has none so she's wildly in debt.)

So I made the house bigger and got some new appliances.

She books us a trip to some ski lodge and we're going on a honeymoon.

Come back and see how the honeymoon went.

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