I check us in at our luxurious rustic resort.

(If you don't check in, the only downside I've found is the maid never cleans the dishes.)

We go to our room and quickly make out.

(When you're on the polar bear rug you have an option to kiss and toast when you click on the other person.)

We're in love.

And we toast our new marriage.

We eat their buffet at separate tables so we make as many dirty dishes as possible.

(If you have pets, make sure you add pet bowls, beds and litterboxes so they'll have them when you go on vacation. It is not an option to leave them home.)

Honey tries to snowboard and ends up face first in the snow.

We decide to get metal detectors and look for old soda cans and dimes. I know how to show a girl a good time on vacation.

Honey finds a pirates treasure chest with $953 in it. Like you do.

She decides to send Sheila a postcard to rub her happiness in her face. She writes:

"Dear crazy bitch Sheila,

I married Moo yesterday and we're on our honeymoon in the mountains. Thank God I moved out of your house. I think I saw Jill making out with the janitor here but I could be mistaken.

I hate you too,
Love, Honey.

P.S. I found $953 and you'll never get a cent of it.

(You can buy postcards on vacation and send them to anyone but I don't know if it affects your social with them at all.)

We're wallowing in rusticity.

Come back to see what's next for Moo and Honey. Find out how crazy Sheila really is.

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